astroturf

freudian grip’s slipping, might need a second opinion, as long as she’s a professional, maybe a mermaid, i’ll drown if you advise me to in ondine tones

basked in that old time bowie glow, videos meant for the precise state of mind i was in, new psychoactives, and it’s 2008, when did that happen? telephragm zam, hard, nigh impossible to be as artfully crazy as those 60s 70s 80s icons, now it’s michael bolton crazy now that so many dates have lapsed – been stood up by apocalypse yet again, still standing, strung out on heaven’s high hitting an all time low – this string doesn’t stretch far enough, lost elasticity, i’m bunching up – my last temptation, a hallucination on the electric chair

shampoo arsenal

coconut jizz flowing through my folicles, icecream runs of a fruit crisp, the best dessert they have at the hume, at your service

"yeah, it's radical, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's totally radical," Anthony agrees. He discovered the word last night, he thinks he may have heard it from his dad. "It means, 'we agree'."

"Does it?" He reminds me of sentence case. It's an endless trial. The trial of the millenium. Italian folicles?

"No, it means cool."

"No, it means, 'we agree'," Anthony says, annotating the phrase splice. A natural breaking point. Con fuoco.

"Anyway, what you were saying about the new playground..."

"Oh right, thanks for reminding me dude." I just learned that word yesterday, hanging out with the cool seventh grade dudes. Too cool for school. What are they doing here? Kicking balls off the wall. Kicking them out of bounds. It was mesmerizing watching them. They think I'm cute. I'm a 2nd grade comp prog math whiz - number muncher - factoring is my favourite game - i munch numbers - slow on the uptake though - computers arrest my attention - people, not so munch - languages, con migo

"You were saying?"

I've got Anthony's attention. He's hanging on my every word. I'd better have a good one. Well that's what I'm here for. I want to entertain him while he's as suggestible as me. While we're hanging out at recess, this is what we do, passing the time. It's radical.

"It'll be a meander. A meander through the stars."

"Yeah? A meyander? That sounds radical."

"Yeah, it totally will be."

"But I'm thinking more like, a meander through the gravel."

A gravel meander? Yeah, what more can you expect at recess? But you can express, if you're into that sort of thing. Many numbers to munch. Many factors. Factoring is one thing I'm good at that and I remember. I will take advantage of his suggestible state.

I just want to entertain. I know it will crash. My fantasies will entertain, inspire, light up his eyes, I see that, I dare not look but I taste that light in the peripherals, in the reflections in the gravel, in the rain coated pebbles in the cold november rain, it's hard to hold a candle like axl sings, he's keeping the fire burning, Justin told me so, I haven't heard the originals but I've heard Justin's renderings, he introduces us to all the cool music, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guns N Roses, I smoke my cigarette with style, that's so wrong. Gravel mining with ice cream sundae driping off our folicles, it could be your trip.

"Gravel meander? I choose to disagree."

Anyway, I will strive to entertain, but I don't have the talent to sustain this fantasy of mine for longer than this recess or maybe another two. All will be made clear after Volleyball class.

If we had to thank all the fuckers who have been cool to us in the two and a half years since 'puppets':

A: Long lists are fucking boring

B: Do you really give a shit anyway?

I don't have the talent, but I can and will take advantage of that light in our eyes and that gleam in my folicles and the promise of dairy queen tonight after baseball practice if god is granting favors today, I daren't ask - suggestions:

"Yeah, well did I tell you about the tower? Yeah, they're gonna build it in the corner over there. My dad showed me the plans. What I heard is they're gonna show movies in there three times a week."

"Yeah? Radical. What movies?"

"Star Wars. Rambo."

The light brightens. Goes well with the overcast concrete. Creep Street.

"Yeah, Rambo I, II, III... IV. Did you see that one?"

"No. But I will right?"

"Yeah, let's watch it next week when they build the new playground."

breakfast with hector

breakfast under duress

never again will i acknowledge their consciousness
never again

yes, i know, genocide flows like blood through the veins of demography
killers are fecund, they will reproduce, their deeds will recur
but it must never again happen to us
or at least me

i'm going to take a dive in a shallow pool
throw the fight, gets me through the day
another opportunity to break the fast
breakroom confidential
would you like some pepperoni on your intermezzo?
tombstone pizza
but no siesta yet
forget i said anything

nobody better call in any favors
i dosed heroically on psilo shrooms last night, barely slept
today i'm a rusty squeezebox, wrought, wrung out, dry
trying to work, succeeding, barely motivated by my paycheque
i think i'm owed more than i owe anyway
nobody better call in any favors
you don't want to calculate
and i'm too tired to calculate

upon arrival, a rare vitality, the scene - contact buzz everyone beautiful, witty, goofy, loud - set up camp, share beer, tequila, smokes, stories, introductions all around, everyone's cool, the 20 year old first timer... camp sprawl looking for k, hard to find, plenty of everything else though - expensive food, expensive cloths, cheap drugs...

we hit the rave, hitting peak hours, through the forest and clearings from stage to stage, through town, the energy ramping up and up and up, lasers pulsing, fireworks crackling, people cheering, stoners giggling - decorations, ornaments, spray art, glowpaint are at an unprecedented density and aesthetic coherency retaining diversity... the "enchanted forest", it's official, i'm enchanted, our hangout, saving that hit of blotter for later, and everyone wanders through, the locals, the albertans, the lost, the found - a table with geometric playthings, lights everywhere, every color, a communal croquet set in the dirt, a tea stand with a donation jar - our newfound aussie friend offers

i take it, don't need to fake it, take things, everything in every orifice, pills and more pills, don't care anymore, i'll try everything, he's not gonna lie to me, those pills are mostly meth, but okay that'll work, that'll work, take things, more things, stay awake, can't sleep, wish i could, try to sleep, paranoid, having fun, not having fun, yayo gets me high still at least, just want to be somewhere else, home, i know home will feel fake, but it will feel sort of perversely genuine at the same time, moreso than this, this isn't home, this is camp fake and i'm drinking the koolaid, drunk on koolaid but i can still leave, it's not the hotel california, i'm jonesying for anywhere but jonestown, no one's willing to help, my campmates don't want to drive, niki's sigh is a death knell, the guilty verdict, my personality rendered void

i say i'll pay you anything just drive me out of here cause i can't sleep and i can't trust anyone, i hate this place and everyone here, and obviously you can't help me, so i'll have to do it myself, try and misassemble my tent, deassemble, detelescope, assume the worst, make an ass out of you and me, a monument to failure, being emblematic of shambhala, being the dregs, decrepit wheel rolling in the dirt, trying to try, failing to try, unable to sleep, still, so sickly aware, dead sentient

run into tony, finally, he drives me home, a messianic mission, ain't nothin but a thing - i try to be calm in the car, chat with the hitchhiker, smoke
"so, you about sick of this whole scene?"
"yep"
"was fun for a while, but i've had about enough"

thank god there are one or two decent people left
get home, sleep forever, no neverland, no nothing

i'd play you a song right now, if anything was real
unfortunately reality proved hallucination
like the old heads used to say
and there's nothing to play
my playlist has dwindled
to nada
nothing works
nothing should work
to work would be perverse
working order a grating alien imposition
intolerable, murderous, poisonous
even moreso than the chaos
chaos is at least mercifully meaningless
what works is nothing, i should die, today's the day
if i had motivation

well tomorrow's another day
hope it never comes
i can't believe the poisons i ingest
one day it will take a toll
today i don't remember, can't believe, won't believe
rose would make me feel better, she will make me feel better
one of these days, soon, but
i need to treat her right
i try sometimes

seven seas of rye

what's up? have you ascended yet? if you ever wanna descend, there's a vast plane awaiting

allegro ma non troppo

rosemarx

i’d like to narrow it down to rose
it was farce, now it's tragedy
i'm logical, grasping for love

quite requited
i like that

it's a fly vertex
it's a poisoned corner
it's fucked, but it’s flicked, kinetic,stuk~
nature is a whore
isn't that what he said
that self-killer?

do you see how bitter the reality is?
can you love me through that clarity?

i disrespect people who respect me
familiarity breeds contempt
that's another reason i'm in the vortex
i see you sittin’ there – ya think you’re so cool
well why don’t you just...
that's my delirium, that's hell
that's what i got and didn't deserve
my reward for being assraped in my sleep
twenty thousand leagues under dramamine
that's when i get honey on my tongue
that's when i find those folds i looked for
that weren't there when i needed them
that would have got me a gig in dirty vancouver
that would have kept me out of organic nelson
now it's a gratuitous grace
now it’s a gratuitous grace
ace in the hole, yo
i know how to make a space
for us to bury treasure that will
never never never ever again be seen

drinkin up finley’s
finley o’ fiasco
jonathan, luc, michael
we all have biblical names
poor forget, hope less, homeless, friends with punnish names
i'm dissociating and remembering these tangled webs
but not tangled enough i guess, i never got that good strand
that goddew, that goddamn dew, that's what i wanted in the web
where is it, can anyone direct me? nevermind, don't impoverish guatemala
to prop up my lifestyle, we will aportion the fruits of the earth
in the morning, when we wake up, we will grind coffee for gaia, we
will sit down and work this out all civilized like

it’s got to expand, solvents will solve everything, clean the stainless steel, cement the cracks, pave over love, wrap your sore finger in tight plastic, dildos for all, of anita hardcock stock, hardy, hearty, healthy, wealthy, wise business decisions, invest in a machine that’ll retain its sheen, pristine hobart dishpit, it’s the shit yo, it’ll appreciate, it’s a work of art, keep it frosty, keep the steel shining, it’s what you want to do, it’s why they pay you wages, i suck electricity, i metabolize music, i record, archive, ramble, moan, forget to take my serts... if a drunk dies i don’t hear, it’s a splatter i scraped off the new hobart dishwasher steel, just a lost synapse, polished over with steel cleener, smells like steel clean, real steel clean, steely eyed while that same goddamn iron maiden song plays, AGAIN, how many times do i have to hear this stupid fucking song, thinking about my lost girl and how it lapped literary waves, stfu, scrub, rehab 2029 bioclock marty mcfly, brain salad surgery, giger got it right with dx balls

hara kiri kamikaze

hara kiri, hari hari

hara kiri, kamikaze

my afterlife

will last 330 milliseconds

oh it's hara kiri time
and i'll meet nobody's eyes
it's kamikaze time
a shameful suicide
i won't give you trouble
if you don't harm my pride
it's hara kiri time cause
i'm dead inside

he was a logical asshole
i'm an irrational saint

he was technically correct
he was technically correct

everybody loves a chump
everybody loves a chump
we don't chloroform our friends
unless they're really good friends
everybody loves a chump

it's hara kiri time
i won't work another day to support my inner child
it's kamikaze time
it doesn't have to get intolerable before i quit
it's hara kiri time
i don't want to test the stress limits
it's kamikaze time
i can see where this is headed
it's hara kiri time
i'm taking you down with me
it's kamikaze time
you're fired

oh yes, you're being pretty petty
oh yes, and it costs you a pretty penny
right back at you retard, i can be as petty as you
when i talk revenge i follow through
it doesn't cost me a thing
my life is worth nothing

it's hara kiri time
i'm so clean you can't see me
it's kamikaze time
i'm next to godliness
i'll be gone
in my chasm of deadcalm
you won't find the vermin you need to loathe
anyone can feel angst, anyone can be angst
everyone's a snowflake, everyone's a critic

oh it's so funny, your need to be elite
how you sweat to seem so cool
i guess you're elite at being elite
it's easy to be rich if that's all you want to do

i haven't forgiven you, it was only a moment of weakness
we're all sinners, still sinners
but at least i didn't get caught stealing smokes from my checkout aisle
there's that in my favour
it takes more than blamelessness
to get into the canadian land of the dead
i just have to do one thing
put you in the E.R.
that's all i've got to do
then you get a story, a sympathy card
whatever it is people like you get out of the deal
and i get an afterlife
it will last 330 milliseconds but it'll feel longer

caullderfrone

caullderfrone

deep

way down
where you never go
only the pretty ones
only the ugly ones
you want a word?
i'll give you a word
you want paranoia
i'll give you a web
paranoia
way down

*

thank god i'm enslaved
and everything is

*

drain
drainD
drain
drainD
drain
drainD
DRAIND....DRAINDDD

YES - now THAT is how i'm supposed to feel - perfect - captured it - - dunk dunk oh amon, you're better than i gave you credit for, even if the keyboard is verticle now, hehe...>\

mormon music reviews

sponsored by killing technology - we're joined at the hip in an ironiclusterfruck, and uh... you DO know how that goes don't you? pat pat

pat pat patterns
oh amon
packages
silly packages
of silly things
oh amon
silly strings of meanings
silly meaning strings
amon tobin

crazy ribbons and what is it they say about the jay, is he an artist, or a narcissist? or a car crash? a trainwreck? a hurricane? a drop of dew? yo. u. 2. i had to, you know, you just lol gotta go with the flow, especially things are bouncing, you know you can do better but you better not try, the record labels are gonna come and make us all feel, uh, whatever. White Sucrets Solution. Grocerypharm slanted, this town needs one of those old things, so say i, at the behest of this song.

my little corner

well - this is how we do it - for some purpose or other - i remember the imperative - it's not good unless it's delirious and pushed by popping pretty cheeks, you know? that kind of freaknessitude... unfortunately, there is still a lot of cerebral wankery in our future, battles must be waged, let it be more civilized, let it be online, lord i do hope it's not on us to shed blood, i really don't, blob, blob...

those ancient chemicals have faces but they're curved funhouse faces reflected back at me - i'm so afraid - turn off the lights -- it all means too much --- where are my bearings? what meant anything in the past? now all tastes salty and seasoned and just right hot dayum, man, ohno. pure sensation, should we? how about you?

saw music

the latin real book is unceremoniously subsumed to crumbles, vital crumpers, core campfire crumbles, not long for this world, good for a night, maybe into a melting morning plateau, it might work, we'll see

those horn shots are loud, even on headphones, and there's enough pabst on the kitchen counter to kill art tatum - there's been a slide, in quality, in intelligence quotient, but in the dark scummy valley of the brain drain, on the other side, with half-clever plumbers who haven't fixed our dank basement hideaway homes yet, we feel that standardized tests didn't cover everything - i was a fly on the wall when they standardized the test, corporate canada breeds bad beaurocrats and worse entrepreneurs, all highly successful, i'm waiting in line for my next hit, the next is always best and spice controls life and i have friends in high places and masons in my basement with poison fangs waiting to claw my balls off - i still have my straw hat stashed away, it's dusty but it calls people to me, mugwumps and women but mostly the former, or it might given sufficient delcharm

there's something beautiful about the sight of the saw, the see saw of sobriety and intoxication, the way it sways, the way it cuts through my retinas - thought i was tired, summer gave me a shot, squandered exponential sums of money and became even more jaded, even more jaded, even more meaningless, faux-jaded, meaning too much of nothing, might as well, especially something that's unsayable, i say in a condescending way, you said it before and i nod, i've heard it before but never quite like this, i'll find a way to hear it, see it, you won't see that i see, you'll be frustrated, forget what you were talking about, i'll see that and see that it's the key, i'll fashion the key, you'll see the key after a fashion, my fashion fancy, fancy that you see that fashion, and i'll say hey, what were we talking about? and neither of us will remember because it's not scheduled til novemember

everything changes then
the dirty diaper this country has lived in
creepy k-crust cradle, how old can it be? it's a long artistocratic hangover
hork up your appropos and importune forefathers, fashion chinese fortunes
nicotine bandaids and solider on, the sins and stains of finance, the viral strains of delirium, virulent dramamine, methamphetamine, apple pie, this country
this country
this country
you know what i mean
when i saw you north of peace river

sheeit man, i haven't pimped my sister out just yet
there's still markets, caverns, gemstones and Fine Fruit Combos
that's copyright, FFF, fight for freedom, fight slapstick sarcasm
fight self-effacing irony and question jello biafra

find a goat
dig a moat
row your boat
who's got the tooth?

10 for 80

10 for 80 question?
10 for 80 period
it's decided
10 for 80
he can do it
i see what he deals

200 cash and stash
i can do it
i can use myself
there's enough material
just barely
enough
enough for friends and whatever comes along
the thing we're all hoping for
the thing nobody wants to volunteer for
the thing that must just happen like magic
waiting for the wand
is it in my hand, can't remember, can't see
double triple cubed vision blind

urban handshake disaster
fact or fiction?
dominance plays
fakeries dangling from the sappy crack tree, fear in nelson
embellished stories of the highway patrol
stopped at a data-mining checkpoint
please don't check the breath
hyperventile, get the toxins out of your system
make eye contact, don't freak them out
traffic directions, we weren't avoiding your tail
we were just taking the fastest route home
yes, really, i didn't time it with a stopwatch, but
force of habit, force of habit, like your force
just as habitual

praise through faint damnation
won't you take me home tonight?
boundary girl is everywhere but she's gone, boundless
got me a girl in the clouds
in the clouds, they smell like solvent
those clouds are toxic but they're so clean

lost weekend found missing
mallory buddy and the drummer girl again
she feels "shitty" about not getting back to me
getting back to me?
don't be sorry, just go fuck yourself
i'll watch to make sure it's done right

tight plastic

why are women so numb to affection?
why are they so blase to attention?
because they know, it's all about ego
the guy and his breakaway goal

i'm going back to default
i want to be my not good enough self
don't want to fail at being someone else
it's sad i believe in a soul mate
having witnessed that one
that ship that sailed

this place doesn't breed people toxic enough to like me
they're all too healthy, too hippy
fine and dandy but not for me

i enjoy felatio more in tight plastic
this is the tale of the trojan treasure
don't tell me it "counts"
as if that's what i give a shit about
don't give the game away and i might stay happy
i know you're an abused angel, that's why you slept with me
i'll try to remember it fondly
but baby, there's no guarantee

let's not

let's not think about that thing

cause that thing reminds me of other things

things that pile up

and make me want to take things

that make me forget things

that take things from me

that give them back to me with other things

that i don't want

maybe if this was prose, she wouldn't roll her eyes

it would be prose pupil, the good student

in the schoolmaid outfit

a cheerleading squad

good cheer, good life

i loved living in literary universes

for as long as i could, i could take things

to extend the literary universes

it was life extension, time dilation

social negation, retardation

it was harmless, it was legal

it was something i got away with

i'll escape

i'll prison break every day i get the strength

every day's a holiday

every day the guards catch me - get their sights on me

shoot me, every day it hurts and sort of heals

every day's a scab overlay, i didn't want to think about that thing

so i looked at a painting, imagined it was my skin

implied something about that thing

grief is brief

life's too short for grief

life is all about forgetting to grieve

jugi fruits are tasty, but they leave an aftertaste

that's not so tasty, and they're probably bad for me

but why should i worry? do skin cells worry?

i'm just a cell, baby, that's my theory

just a pity people don't work for me

not anymore, it's not their fault

just the next stage

of ego cancer

it's better not to think about that

let's not

roast beef and budadoze

i’m stopping off for jugi fruits on my way to the funeral

it’s easy to be stoic when you’re several mountains from the hospital

out of sight out of mind, tritronic distractions

she smoked for eighty some years

i’d say she won that gamble

she raised the woman that made me

maintained a beautiful family

blood is so strange

watered down in this age

alice died in the night

i’ve been learning to drive my whole life

profound paisley poetry

this won't mean anything in the morning
so i'd better write it now
while it's real

silk paisley fabric
ripped from a complete pair of pants
bought from a thrift store in kansas for cents
acting lampshade
2x paisley, folded
self-interlaced
classique serif fractalocutus

golden brown
texture like sun



i post here so that everyone can
see

everyone can
see

see the crystals
hear the crystals
taste the crystals
they're kind of piney, a bit like vinyl, and they'll rhyme, yo

paisley wasn't used or abused by us crazy guys tonight
contra and kita veto'd the scarf, i told luc:
fuck contra, i order you to wear that paisley fragment as a scarf
but then i felt stupid that we were both wearing paisley scarves
like i need any points in the homo column
it's not the paisley, it's the matching
i'm secure in my heterosexuality and paisley
it's that 0.05% that fucks with me
so i ditched the "scarf"
and write of the paisley fabric draped over
my newly installed 100-watt bulb
to make the moodlight right and not too bright
until the smell of burning starts

my subconscious is asking for a raise
says he can't live on minimum wage
i say i can't afford to pay him any more, sorry
wish i could help him, and i know he didn't even want to ask for that raise, but
we're all under the thumb of cerebral corporate cortex coincidence control office

there's crystals though
there's crystals and caves, there's stalacs and stalags, they make you feel brave, them make you forget, forget who you are, forget who you were, see who you might be, be who you might see, some might feel free, sometimes, and we're changing meter NOW da da NOW da da NOW. Cadence. Yes.

- sincerely,
the most pretentious ass in all of europe

edit: edited 4 times, what a douchebag

glass beach

sinews in, and let's go
straight to the horsemouth
plymouth, seven seems too much
deadly sins and dirty deeds on this glass beach
bizznatch

you work it out for yourself
meaning is so beautifully malleable
like a melody the grace ladies played
with finess, in that context,
examining details, contours, obstructions

it should be said, sampled
consequences
down the draino
we can all relate

except those of us who don't insufflate

demands are far away
far away, abstract, i demand
that, uh, wha?

guilt can't be all bad can it?
now i'm trying to start a religion
trying to find the one thing
the one thing
that will fix everything
yeah that's it
there it is, THAT
muthafucka

don't tell me you expect nothing after
don't tell me that's what you expect
don't tell me you expect nothing after
don't tell me you have no regrets
don't tell me you have no regrets

i'm just a philosopher peasant
i'm just a literary dwarf
this life will be the death of my ego
rock, the strength of my soul
roll, the old riff on the soul

i take comfort in your disdain
outside your floodlights, something remains
in the dark, in the scum, in the dank and the dung
something in me will remain
when everything of me goes down the drain

maybe you played the game harder than me
i thought i played hard but you're harder than me
it's easy to be hard when you're sure of yourself
it's easy to be with those books on your shelf
all those self-authored books on your shelf

maybe the inner light blinded you
maybe guilt is just what you needed
maybe you should have been looking for jesus
should is a word that i shouldn't use
jesus christ

my birth was a laughable accident
yours was divinely ordained
i look for god in the cracks in my floor
you don't look back when they shut the door
you're tired, and life is a bore

i see your point
it struck me through the eye
but i don't think life is a mistake
i relish the music you hate
that is the music i make

wilco puts him in his happy place
a reference for your poor pizza face

the weather’s fine
i turned on a dime
turncoat for rhyme
words, they got me
i got my words
what the fuck am i doing here?
can’t believe my mom asked me about luke
am i reviewing my life now?

god, sam, and ashley
yeah, it’s a big k p party
wow
that’s too true, mahn