Univergence
The result of the absence of perception is univergence.
A glass of water is left nearly finished on a hot summer day. The drinker comes back later to find the cup dry.
How a person can stare at something for minutes without moving his eyes and not be able to discern an object or form.
Words written on paper only change when being written or read--else, when not seen, it is not used and thus unchanged.
A person who became vegetarian out of survival's sake, got back to mainland life, no longer wanted meat.

I like porn better anyway

they’ve said i’m a good lover – but i still prefer porn – and i prefer drugs to orgasm – i’m more human than you – it’s what separates me from the animals, except the monkeys who’ve been wired to freebase coke IVs and will self-administer the substance instead of food through starvation - i’m synthetic man

sex bores me – the first few times with the same partner are mind blowing bliss – then it becomes rote and obligatory – they get insecure that i don’t come and it kills my tantric buzz, i get nervous, negative imprints accumulate, i lose interest but feel pressured to pretend otherwise - the times i do feel spontaneous passion rarely count for anything, rarely nudge the already completed construct in their heads of me as a sterile eunuch droid

i like the comforts of a relationship, i love to love and be faithful, and share a life with someone - but sex poisons everything, because it is a drug for me – my eyes keep roving for the next hit, the next beauty, even if i’ve forbidden myself the consummation of those pleasures – consummation is a false religion, a dry dream

i’m such a baby when it comes to relationships – my experience is limited, i don’t know what i’m doing – pathetically eager to jump right in – she left me after three weeks – the realities “crept up on her”, i found out all the underlying problems in one shebang, out of the blue – and i still don’t understand – but i guess it was the right thing – guess i’ve learned enough about relationships to know i don’t want one – that ship sailed, sunk

if i gotta choose between women and drugs, i’ll choose drugs, my first and last love – they’ve been loyal to me and they don’t fuck me up as much – i constantly apologize for talking about drugs and nothing else – but i’m like an aquabot, apologizing for breathing through its gillotron – fuck it

space kadets

bottom line

buzzed from the show, our most successful to date - crowd, energy, sound, music, profit, feedback all pleased me

the hotel manager who never talks to me comes to see me in the middle of my shift:

"so how'd the show go?"

"very well" i say - "damn good show"

he stares at me with cold blank eyes, looking like he's expecting me to say something

"wasn't too busy though, huh?" he adds, finally

"uh... i dunno - how busy is it supposed to be?"

"how much did you guys make?" he asks

"about a grand" i honestly report

"about a grand, huh" the manager repeats, then leaves

gears grind in my head - this is what he came here to say? like, what does he want from me? if we were the wrong band for the bar, isn't that his fuckup? did our crowd not buy enough overpriced drinks? i only put two peeps on the guest list and neither showed - even bought several beers myself

kind of killed my buzz, this negative asshole coming by just to passive aggressively complain about the lack of money he expected to make from the show - i was happy with the turnout, our first ever encore request which mike refused to grant, of course - guess the manager was expecting a BC-DC sized crowd - poor guy - we killed his buzz with our subgenre music and our subcult following - maybe we should have subsidized his drink sales

well fuck it - can't be too concerned with that dick's bar profits - we played a good show and that's all i care about

maybe it was revenge for that time i told a rude customer to fuck off and no one could prove it was me - or maybe since my brain's been mercifully spared its paranoid obsessions so long, it decided it was due for one - in any case, it's something to write about – new bullshit to supplant the garden variety

fall
fall

chels bells
chels bells in the fall
she believes in falling
and i’m seeing
pall malls
swirly for the sake of being swirly
information is neat
fornication’s sweet

super sweet

i’ll get a life’s worth of life out of this
but how could i be this tilted?
could it be because i aloud
myself to gelcap that yo
yes, remembering yesterdays
partenting skillz

omar likes to beedley deedley

fucking hell omar
you like to like to beedley deedley omar
fucking hell omar, and so do i
but you are so ghastly good at beedledeedlieying...
am i seeing this, am i believing this???
oh my god you are my trip - doing my tripeedee deebedeley
medelemedelmedelemedele deeds
and now you're letting adrian's horn
now you're getting me out of that sqozen chazm
and holyshit, you're actually making that
2 grams of k worth it, and then some, goddayum

you're a person i'm proud of
a chair i can bounce off of

boiling death request, se dice bufalo et stranger epochs
fountain fondu families, nubian princesi came as a forest
of frillsets, sucessful ponzi for a while

and these are my people
the afro'd robert-fripp-influenced, david bowie-referencing, latin k smokers
these are my people, they’re so
my people, they’re so
my people, they’re so
hey, when did this loop get so tight?
and i don’t mean that in a good way

smoked k tonight, yes i
never tried that way before
scraped some of it into a gelcap
after packing the sinuses
2 grams of k
that's all of it
down the drain o

can you believe that shit?
73% of americans are unable to
it’s the day the earth stood still
petrified digital glades
glaziazoes monstrazadaisikles

sleaze bag

he's a sleaze bag

waiting in the sky

god's your creepy uncle

and you'll meet him when you die

he's a sleaze bag

but his love for you is true

he can handle any shit job

he is stoic through and through

he keeps the walls clean

keeps a byzantine nest

there's a rotating scheme

of walls to clean

a priority tree of growing complexity

the grime brightens, the brown whitens

it all becomes clear at eleven pm

before it goes grime again

please try not to look

like he looks like he’s sleazy

when you pass through, server girl

jewel from the dregs

wet, shining, stained

naked beneath

drapes of haphazard luck

it’ll rub off on you, try it, are you scared?

it’s not lucky for him but it’s lucky for you

grease spillage from motherfuck buckets

shudders from charmed dishrags

a critical mass of malignant thought

you'll avoid true contact

because truth is where love is

but he’ll do the extra chores

to keep on, clean the kitchen every night

just to see you smile again, he can pretend

it's all for him

in the constellations

you'll learn to love molestation

blakey boy

blakey boy's basically got no empathy
doesn't need to get back to me
doesn't mind if that fucks with me really
he's not clueless but mostly carefree

blakey boy's basically got no empathy
just lots of decency, i'm choking on his leniency
grand master tact feels nothing for me
he'll do his own thing, celebrate libran levity

carefree mostly
sometimes eternally
carefree mostly
sometimes eternally
saw him plucking the trends with zen fingertips
he stopped using filtertips
stopped smoking pot
saw him with flower petals at his feet
fragments of conversation between him and them

he's got indian status, shuns the silver spoon
casts the i ching and "explores" on shrooms
the trends dry and die but he always saves face
make no mistake, blake fucks up with grace

he gave me my first trip for free
back when i couldn't find that sort of thing
ochre haze warming lampbuzz, giggling under lions' gazebo
didn't matter that i'd eaten candy beforehand
and spent all my money, he critiqued the candy
said it was hard like it was supposed to be
purple licorice from the gas station, matured
to perfect textural consistency

blakey was a funny guy
we had some fun times
but now he's got a life
and i’ve got these dumb rhymes

taxing you

yes yes, i'm taxing you

i'm taxing you for being an asshole

the government wasn't doing its job

i noticed when you got your third promotion

yes yes, i'm helping myself

the company has deep pockets

i know they can afford compensation

to me it's simply an ignoble obligation

swipe, swipe, another swipe

it’s another wrong partially righted

i want a new ipod, you want a new car

the taxes won't kill you but the price of gas will

i'm so tired, think i’ll take a cab home today

so here’s another ride on you

oh i hope my entrusted ketamine-encrusted charge card

will get me back in time to watch tv

before i fall asleep, i’m so tired, did i tell you

i’m so tired? it's true

yes yes, i was taxing you

you caught me with your video camera

you had to film me and good thing you did

justice has been served

you took it on yourself to film me

it wasn't company policy strictly

but you're your own man, a man of action

the superstore garden center vigilante

yeah yeah, put me away

i'm sure i'll learn a valuable lesson

i'll learn to use my fists instead of my brain

it wasn't working anyway

ziegfried humperdinck's theme party

there's a spring in my step - i don't think that it's mine

there's notes on my pad, a quake in my spine

don't ask how they got there - i don't think they're mine

quiver, yeah i feel fine, really

yes i feel fine, shudder, really but

where were you when my whole body ached?

where were you when madness was a headdress

stapled to my temples, soul sickness

expressed in mad hat choice, like

there’s gotta be something wrong

and if you look too long you’ll catch it too

well i feel fine, but feel free to stay over there

if i'm scaring you, didn't mean to, sorry

every day's been garbage day since

i don't know when

but maybe i didn't throw out my brain

like i thought, looks like

there's something at the back of the fridge

the hairy jar of juice on the bottom rack

there’s beans in my dip, there’s a spring in my step

there’s spunk on my shirt - i don’t think that it’s mine

it’s awareness week

at the awareness fair

i'm hawking my wares

it’s awareness with flair

it’s awareness awareness week, are you aware?

and it’s a baseball cap, not a thought shield

and it makes me look less gay, i’m straight by the way

but i’m trying not to let it get to my head

now self awareness sold out

and that’s just as well

cause there’s other things you ought to try

there's this theme, there's this party

but it's sad to think that it might have been nothing but

an old time caffeine rush, those childhood riffs

when i spun straw into gold, grooved on gray skies

when the world didn't see things my way

and people were cross and country was friendly

it's sad to think it was only the candybar

i'd eaten and forgotten

back when a snickers cost eighty five cents

and choco wasn't drugs

well the drugs stopped working

and the magic isn't real

tarot says i've still got the power to heal

but i'll die before finishing med school