What do I do? Do I copy romantic comedy clichés that aren't funny in real life? Have you ever even seen one acted out in real life? Would I be the first to realize that cartoon?
Love and self-loathing. I'm not worthy, but I want it.
Maybe I like the awful idea that it takes as long to get over the relationship as it took to enjoy/endure it. A symmetrical ripple of equidistance angst. Because then I can stop souring all experience with the feeling of failure, and wrap myself up in the blanket of defeat - bundled up, besieged by the better people, who make me look bad. Maybe there was compassion in the notion of down-time. In sharing it. Seeking will drive me insane. But waiting will drive me insane. It's all a draining game.
1 comment:
"A symmetrical ripple of equidistance angst"- nice line.
"and wrap myself up in the blanket of defeat - bundled up" Funny... I like the metaphor.
Take care- and try and get out of those full time schedules!
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