severe tone

i drive better when i'm drunk
look out you panicky queers with clipboards
next time i'm on the road, i'm gonna be liquored up and opiated
i've found that to be the ideal combo
to steady my nerves

you want it smoother, do you?
"it's like playing a musical instrument"
thank you, prof
is it now?
buddy, if i sucked playing piano as much
as i suck at driving after eight years, i'd quit
i'm a fool, yes, but i don't persist in my folly
not that long, yo

you want it smoother?
rub some johnson's baby oil on your tender bottom