31 May 2020

Introducing... The new zoom clique. Don't say anything weird, just slyly write it on the side. Don't wonder what those two video boxes were laughing at, seeming conspiratorial. Don't you wonder though? A self examination of narcissism. And you can examine others too, reflect what they are.

Introducing... the dnew dodge on dnyewze four. Dynews yew can use. Youuuze. Elaborate baroque tales of what's reeeeealy going on... Nobody can tell, don't tell nobody nothin. The big screen little screen habit. Approach. Addiction. To love and hate.

10 Apr 2020

cutoff - Cutoff from nothing, it's okay, there was nothing there anyway - wallfacer, door closing

let's cut to the chase - i feel more and more just my dumb job - oh yeah, i'm other people too, i'm in couple - family, friends, all that shit - totally useless otherwise - making everything for no one - nobody likes my style - how pathetic - what's the point of this? hostage letter? fucking christ

motivation to mean things? pick the notes? pick the words? after the splurge, eating the void - why not swoon along to a belly full of depression - indulge in it - maybe it's just a moment - feels full of me being a fuckface, wallfacing little fuck.

8 Mar 2020

kimmy danger

References: shine on you crazy diamond - pink floyd, quicksand - david bowie, it was a good day - ice cube, bleed for me - dead kennedys, fortunate son - creedence clearwater revival, 12th street rag - euday bowman, prince of parties - flight of the conchords, teenage mutant ninja turtles, chicken dance, hush - deep purple, outside - david bowie, nazi punks fuck off - dead kennedys, comfortably numb - pink floyd, the gambler - kenny rogers

7 Mar 2020

i like to sharpen my figurative knife
lucky it's not a literal knife fight
but it's a figurative knife fight
so i sharpen my figurative knife
to get ready to fight dirty, literally
there'll be an end, in mud and blood,
the figurations eventually tabulate to
my own blood spilling, medic, morphine
a more meaningful ending than i'd plan
that's a man, a plan, a canal of death
too early, no, still trying to sell myself
the comforting idea that it's ok, somehow
okay, somehow, it's all okay, somehow

I like to pretend like I'm an invalid, always in bed
and all I can do is watch youtube and write references to the tube
the colon of the internet, squeeze slowly over a life
the media gets higher res, the dopamine gets managed to a finer degree
a degree that forms feynman diagrams in the neural net

i like to put things in lower case, to make them small d discovery planes
so open to connotation, not Capital B Brand Name Bullshit
Everybody lies, so why don't I? No reason not to.
Except I know some people who are more sincere and earnest than me
so I can't say I really know that everybody lies
- maybe I'm lying to myself -
refusing to accept things
a sub-basement protected cell for body-melting revelations
an arc of the covenant warehouse
lost in the boxes and shelves
til they invent a search engine
and start mutation of the information age
"meta-electrical speculations on culture", haha
see what I did there? Of course not, how would you know?
the quote is a book title that terence mckenna made fun of himself for crafting
during a month of not smoking pot, turned his judgement to dogshit

i like to soliloquizing about why I lie, who am I lying to? I don't believe in such childish concepts like "you're only cheating yourself", this is a primordial stage of selling out to a mirage of adulthood and status, i'm now at the point where I feel everyone cheats, but I'm still INFJudging, with my withering INFJ stare, except it's only my reflection, INFJ-staring back at me, to me.

i like to write about hate, i can still do that
feel hate to fuel writing
a good mixture of hate and love
a sea of black with a dove, stars above, cornball songs, singin' along, apostrophizing to gild the lilly of dialect. Like Sam Clemens. This is the media of the moment. No silver star cheerleader to offer me a delusion of self-worth I could get myself to believe in.

6 Mar 2020

work up enough serotonin for a laugh

Write with power.
Live with weakness.
Write with power, live with weakness, live with it, live it out.
Play with power like it's a game, make it fun, have a fun era
make fun of it
Live as weakness, cringing til the end, oh c'mon, when death comes
offers mercy you didn't expect

5 Feb 2020

Maybe I do wanna be a sucker. Maybe it's better than a pointless sense of superiority. Miserable sense. Maybe better to get suckered in by folksy corny crap. Appreciate it, see the good in it. Don't get suckered in by my own delusion of sophistication. But could you stop fucking talking? Why do I hate your voice so much? Even now, when I need to be teachable, when my own resources are utterly failing me? Can't isolate the variable. So, just change everything. Change as much as possible.... Hope you'll get the culprit.

10 Jan 2020

Camusian 'Why Not'?

References: i am the walrus - the beatles, terence mckenna critiquing existentialism, go rest high on that mountain - vince gill, amazing grace, monster mash - bobby pickett, mr. roboto - styx, quicksand - david bowie, autobahn - kraftwerk, the tom green show theme

9 Jan 2020

Too Many Notes

References: war - edwin starr, teenage mutant ninja turtles theme, all apologies - nirvana, fancy pants - ween, the gnome - pink floyd, the star-spangled banner

11 Dec 2019

Walled cities... the warp that wears off quicker than salvia... this is my channel, this is your channel... pre-mid-life-crisis.

Ramalamashanka da dunk a chunk cha chunk cha THUNK, dropping a litter of muelling cabbages, the thirty year old curmudgeon, respect the young man, that kinda young man, older and wiser is not always so inseparable - no, I don't want to dance, I'm not about to boogie. Everybody must not boogie. Non serviam. I Claudius.

Lame - don't be lame - don't be negative - don't - do NOT do that - don't do what Donny Don't does. Prevent forest fires. Take a bite out of crime. Hippo promoted to detective.

What is left? What is there? When the mind has crusted, become geological, thinks at a glacial pace, is too careful, too responsible. Utopia is nowhere.

E-coins are everywhere. You could make everything out of E-coins. You could make e-coins of everything. Make them mean what you want. What I need.

What are they gonna do, with the people I hope get in office? How are they gonna get rid of them? The heart attack gun didn't work apparently, but they weren't enough of a threat then. C'mon, problem solve. Endless creativity for ways to kill or co-opt.

Don't despair. Make it happen.

3 Dec 2019

I gotta say, I'm kinda loving the Ok Boomer thing. The only people that get offended by it are insufferable kissasses from younger generations that hope to get in on their parents' pyramid schemes, or stupid Boomers that like Boomers as a class of people way too much and chastise millennials [with no sense of irony] for being snowflakes. Cool Boomers are like, yeah, haha, I get it. I love cool boomers, or even uncool but nice ones with some sense of irony and history.

25 Nov 2019

so slick - so swish - you wish it was a fateful path, without airballs, nothing but net, every which way - nevermind the death-crystal, paying absolute mind to the flight path of the way which leads to this present you can stand

darlene and dom

21 Nov 2019

robot black out

mr robot and long blocked childhood trauma

he's not supposed to know - good for getting the mind out - learning to love - trying not to be mediocre

quick PSA text on the black credits - trauma voyeur like the king of the D R, the republic gleaming for a bigger island to own, it looks good as a backdrop to torching that round gleaming gleaming gleaming glass bowl with the meth vapor on the other end, feeling like a shaman, gleaning sacred knowledge by the atomized constituents one by one, gathering, beeping, like a gleaming fucking photon collater sucking bits out of the void, one by one, listening, feeling on a subatomic scale, points of light, substance, gleaming, hit the pipe again

feeling lucky - then feeling like i gotta control everything, CTRL-ALT freak flag, feel the power like some 90s dance thing, pre-cult days, when cults weren't so mainstream, and fascism wasn't the default - it's always the default now, like that joke in the rick and morty season 4 premiere, there's this weird freaky default fascism down the multiverse, proud shrimp fascists with their stiff upper lip shrimp faces, dominican psychos, etc. And then there's the whole last season of the man in the high castle, wow, and getting a haircut, and not asking for the "richard spencer", but squirming a little as the haircut and nazi associations keep looking good in gleaming leather - hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the albert hall - now we know how many holes it takes

this would be better musically, i haven't made the set up for full on keyboard and voice improv with the hours i keep here unfortunately

ah, google, i dissociate from the brand, i'm a blind user, using - but it sometimes feels like my happy clippy partner, auto correcting and knowing what it looks like i'm trying to do

how far down the rabbit hole do you have to go, when do you radicalize, get back to the root? crazy shit's probably gotta precipitate - too bad i already opted in to so many systems, even the new social media meta-systems, rooted myself, haha, allowed access, i've been thoroughly data mined, cause i never protected it feircly, but now i got some info-shields, a tinfoil hat but it feels good to wear it, don't wanna join any info wars, just shielding myself from the deluge of mind control, even as i'm getting into youtube channel demagoging cult trips and thinking that should be satirized in black mirror, maybe i should write that episode

i see them, they're pretending like they're winning, maybe that's the way to go, the pro-bono pronoia, the conspiracy is us, we're on the march, we're winning, feel the burn of victory!

i don't want the crazy shit most of the time, i'm not angry enough, don't have enough of a personal stake in the revolution - theoretical solidarity is maintained when detaching from the idea of myself being morally involved with any complicity in systems, which brings me back to feeling like i'm winning, don't have to do anything, can just watch it unfold, in theoretical solidarity with a side i cheer on - thinking it's cool to be cynical and clever, and wait behind the brave, the clever wait behind the brave, the cleverer wait behind the clever, DO NOTHING... OBEY THE NINE...

that was an awesome reference that one in nine million might enjoy - where can i find those eight hundred thirty three and a third people to form a pipeline to my niche niche niche podcast? it ain't about personally knowing anybody, it's a vibe the great galactic information stream gotta appreciate baby, percolate

20 Nov 2019

19 Nov 2019

Waking up... from what? Where did it go?

coming by fascism honestly... honestly, come on...

General cults. Cults around generals. Who are the four stars we gotta be worried about? Are they C grade business people, just low end billionaires? But they've got some amount of loyalists, always, they have enough of some kind of charisma that works on eager psychopaths and morally compromised. It's comfy to live in a place where you're not morally compromised, don't feel forced to be morally compromised, don't think i'm morally compromised anyway, the system is compromised.

Get on the intercom. Tell them something, prevent a clamp down. Everything under control, situation, uh, normal. That sounds like the right kind of balderdash, right? You could kiss the blarney stone in space heaven. Space Heaven is my favourite spaceclub. It's also a drum'n'bass club. We can fly there in the drum'n'bass ship. Jack that box.

5 Nov 2019

blank in water

Facebook is for spite. That's the face I keep there. I see a vote for slogan, vote for blank, and I get a panging, like I wish jack back sometimes, he's perfect for it, the zeigheist, the biggest spiritual heist since, I dunno, weak indoctrination, propaganda. A ping for my pang, sent a packet for you, a care package of information.

31 Oct 2019

pre white rose

I don't know why I couldn't write something. Maybe was being tortured, forced to accept another's reality, bend light and category for me, boot on my neck, seeing extra lights - I didn't wanna go for these references but it's almost like the ugly times are demanding it

30 Oct 2019

After watching Donnie Deutsch on a panel show

If I was worth 200 million dollars, but I only got one vote, the same amount as somebody worth 20 thousand dollars, I'd probably think that was unfair. So, I'd vote with my 200 million dollars, or I'd take at least 20 million of that, and turn it into raw political power, cause I could. Cause I had 200 million dollars, in a country where that could be converted into raw political power easily, legally even. Depending on where you live, the exchange rate of dollars to votes can be quite good, in some places you can get the equivalent of 20 thousand votes for as little as 20 mil. I probably shouldn't be allowed to have 200 million dollars. Baby you're not a firework. Show them what you're worth, but I'm telling you, it's not 200 million dollars.

25 Oct 2019

after watching the next episode of Mr. Robot

Welcome Back Mr. Alderson

that previously on segue they did, wonderful - and the stuttered ending - now i'm eschewing the vocals, focusing on playing - wish i had words sometimes, but it goes into the music instead - ah, in the world of words, we need an anchor of sarcasm, hang out in this empty chasm with me, i'm alone with you, hail satan, some fake savior, fake some savior, hail reverb, off the chasm wall