12:38am: well, talk about gratuitous grace… I'm doing it again, half a week later - twelve r30s this time, I'm being "moderate" cause I'm not going for a new record dose, just another demi-god trip, where I will probably feel like god again, but a lonely god still rubbing up against His own Grain, the infinite cosmos of limitations based on this little personality I am most of the time, like those weaponized changeling virii that cut off their hand to morph into sentient goo that projects itself as an angry voice that wants, that controls, that demands.
well, well, well
well well well well well, there's 5 wells in this instance
going back to the well
well there's an eleven angstrom shell of heaven between the living void and hell
well, look what we have here
i guess i'm really trying to re-live the glory days, and yet have high high hopes for making something new as well… dosed about 12:35 - the idea was, don't worry about it so damn much, how bout a spontaneous trip with good vibes, a gratuitous grace, at a point where no reasonable algorithm would dare think i would even consider doing this on this date, considering past behavior - or maybe the cleverest algo behind the clever one would
i'm thinking maybe i'll go watch something and see if i can get into the watching movie trip, and see how that works - integrate more, get casual and spiritual at the same time, some profane fusion - maybe keep it thc free, see how that is - see if it's maybe like a couple of great times where i was trying to follow a trippy m night shayama lambda delta movie on ketamine on creek street - lady in the water, lol, that will always be an A movie for me because of the enhancement, you kinda had to be there, you know? yk?
i think i might try watching that star wars series, andor… we'll see how that does me
1:18
pretty sure I'm starting to feel it.
Can I try not to be so lazy in the swoon?
Also there's the need to pee, strong.
Midsection issues…
Scots evolution… in this disconnected watching of episode 1 of andor, strange vibe, not really following, but seems vaguely profound, in a different way than weed makes things seem profound, less vague in that case
I'm profanizing… Connecting to pasts though, magic on its own…
1:30
look at them, those forest people characters
They're all so young.
This feeling is getting familiar… Why is there such a need to pee? Lol.
The guy that did that thing
No cats to worry about as I wobble desperately...
so
1:55
i'm plugging things into other things, getting really complicated. fugal. comp crashed… seems to demand metaphors…. ok, we gotta work up a lather here… it's so strange that i find T in this place, and C, and where is my E? the best of all? can't mix though.
Carry over a gratuity… How are we solving the world's problems now? Is this like when we tried to Knext? Should I invite M? Should I start a religion? We can do what we want from this corner! We demand that we do it E style. It's silly, it's lovely, it's an old doiley, but what was old is young again! We could even have B back, and D too, I remember her, and the bonding of elements to women i loved [I can edit whenever I want, remember, I can interpolate, there's meta-cognition going on now, so I can pass through one state and into another, time-travel even, in the telepathetic field]
not being recorded, except experientially…
what the mckenna boys could do with sound
i'm not very real, really? am i?
is this some fucking captured not that important crumble?
like those ol dabbley immorality players of oldes… hmmm, trying to raise a second sequel over here….
it all gets streeeetched, including cancer drugs… gettin a little personal here…. oh, the songs and tones of deadly politics… Fuck. Wow. No,.
How can we make words have power again.
Assign value.
How do we make things valuable again, oh, i feel like i figured it out cause i'm not in a music video….
this case
that case
in any case
crossfire
as long as the series of tubes and weird hand flanges…
shubling…
let us just integrate everything and see what happens [prollly nothing good]
it's too dense right now….
the voices are arguing with each other
thank you for taking it seriously
thank you for laughing, thank you thank you
the heat feels good
M, my friend, join us….
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