too much love

too few lovers - oh, maybe i didn't reach out enough

you know, despite what they say, and "they're" quite right and wise, love is worth it, it's even worth risking my recovery from drug abuse - so, i would, if i could, but i can't, so i won't - i dunno, i just figure, i've learned to get by without it, the kind of love that makes me willing to risk everything, that whole shebang, that drives me to play my A game - let's digress but stay on topic

i'm in a feelingful place at the moment, so, might as well feel, and not worry too much about the meaning - might as well sit, skin exposed, and just be, whatever this is - i'm so incomplete, and really feeling it lately - but at least i got out of that agro bar, snuck in under the 5$ cover for pay per view ultimate fighting, it's so ultimate, ugh - anyway, it's one of those things, where the frosted lucky charms won't do it, as a metaphor, but those dresses, or whatever you call them, will hit closer to the mark, those short cut, i dunno, i'm not used to talking sexy, much less writing about it, those dresses that hug the skin tight to accentuate those girl contours, they're like blouses, i guess, but they're almost like body suits, but they stop just a little after the whoohah, or just a little short, depending on how you look at it, i don't even know what to call them, but they're dressy, and this hottie was wearing one while i was playing pool, but it was so not my scene, no, not really, tho it could have been, in another life

i'm living more in my mind right now, i guess, and living through a bit of a grinder, but feeling a lot, and ill-content, fairly, i'd say - it can't come to any good, but whatever - you know, it would be cool if i could say "whatever" and be somehow alluring, but that's a feminine thing, that's a charm wielded, or even casually tossed about by the ones i covet - yeah, i'm in a coveting mood, and it don't make me special, but dayum man, or, nevermind

it's not a funky feeling, no no, it's just a word, it's just a woooooord, oh no, maybe it's a little more to me, love, i'm feeling it from afar, the absense is palpable, or it's very present, but the ability to express it, physically, the necessary counterpart to emotion, is kinda absent, yeah