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Got no one to talk to, so I’m venting online. So, I really tried to hustle this week. Applied to five places. Even with the xanax it was har...
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Actual composition instead of an hour-long improv indulgence, 'sbeen a while. I wanted to call it The Dandy Whoremonger, but settled on ...
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Doing a writing exercise, I guess, is what I'm doing. Because I've hardly written anything for months. Since I got sober, yet again....
not paranoid when you should be just one of my normal keyboard improvisations, nothing special, except that it's recorded on a real grand.
2 comments:
Hey man, I read a post you had made a long time ago on Erowid. (https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=15293) The one about Peripheral Meanings and Synthetic Visions. I wanna know, now that you can look back, how do you view the effect that edibles have on you? The way it amplifies things just enough and lubes your social muscles. I think i'm in the same spot as you right now.
Hi. Edibles were the first mind altering substances I tried, so they may have formed a template for how I was to experience later things. Anyway, they certainly introduced me to a lot of possibilities for sensory distortion and ways of thinking. I got into a routine of having major anxiety, on the verge of panic, every time I would get high on THC, and yet I would keep doing it. These days, the anxiety is not so bad, but it's never been good for me socially, except back in those early days when the novelty itself stimulated my conversation and interactions with others. I don't freak out, unless I smoke a ridiculous amount of hash in a short period of time. I still like that kind of high, mainly for making and consuming music, and enhancing film and tv - the way it amplifies things, as you said. There's still a place for it in my life, even though I've known for a long time that I have to leave the hard narcotics alone. I think it's also likely that leaving stronger psychedelics alone for a long time made me less prone to freak out, years ago, getting stoned would often trigger states of panic from acid trips, and the like.
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