and resolutions to ride out whatever reality throws at me
whatever perturbations create sublime spline curves in the sickening nature of perception
if it doesn't sound profound, you aren't here right now.
I need a new paradigm. A new place. That will change everything. I can tell.
Ah ah. Soulseek seeks on. Digital music. Infected with sublimity. Brain patterns never tasted this good. Is this hedonism? It's fantastic at this moment. Beautiful. Is beauty chemical? Haven't I exhausted this theme? Can I milk another song out of the fucker? Would anyone want to? What to do, when pink has turned to blue?
Maybe it's time for me to get wrecked again. I lost the algorithm. The key to society. Maybe I should freak out and be a freak. Fuck it.
The stoic freakdom of fuckedered up fringe flange functioning. Haha. I like the sound of that. Is it pro or anti hedonsim? Pro, I'd say, if that means anything.
10/14/06
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Got no one to talk to, so I’m venting online. So, I really tried to hustle this week. Applied to five places. Even with the xanax it was har...
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Actual composition instead of an hour-long improv indulgence, 'sbeen a while. I wanted to call it The Dandy Whoremonger, but settled on ...
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Doing a writing exercise, I guess, is what I'm doing. Because I've hardly written anything for months. Since I got sober, yet again....
not paranoid when you should be just one of my normal keyboard improvisations, nothing special, except that it's recorded on a real grand.
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The goddamn THC is overriding the apathy. So I need an activity. Even in valeirian induced stupidity. Don't ask me. It's all abritrary, just gotta riff on the shakes, what else can ye do? Is my heartrate up?
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