2/22/08

five pounds of flax

depleted seeds - i ate them all, already - my health food - was glad of an alt liver to guide me - but did succumb to my own gaktastrophy tonight, and yes, there was msg in that dip, eschewed crackers when what was left in the fridge ran out - and yes, you would walk to the end of town to get some more - a pabst celebration, more of the same - let's rent a hall, a very merry unbirthday - you would walk to the end of town to get some more - or is that me? is it doable? i think so - couldn't sleep - subconscious itchy - perpetually semi - haven't had decent sleep in weeks - don't know what it is - trying to be healthy, it's been something to work for, work through - but it makes me itchy -- vitamin S, solipsism, self-reliance, living with self - strange situation - flush with what? purge in every other way - toxicity, stackheap overflow - log cabin republicaint - ain't no crisis we can define without rolling our eyes, chasing the bright shiny things of sarcasm - transparency and chemical control over mood leads to the same cycle slavery, but maybe i never said it and meant it so much as that last time - maybe i won't walk to the edge of town, but if the store was open - no tweak mission tonight - but things are moving faster, aesthetic sensibilities fading, the real test of values, the sink or swim trials like nuremburg, judgment, flashy aesthetic transience dying, what remains? hard to define - oh i managed to avoid the cycle of drinking more pabst long enough to notice the sting of heavy eyelids, the reduced oxygen levels in the brain - maybe i can sleep now, but i doubt it - i'll find a way to itch - unconscious blotch

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