Homeworld
for the bright eyes, is what I meant to say. What they told me to
say, when they channeled their expressiony text through me, presto
con fuoco, in a moment of weakness, weakness on my part, a garden
variety seizure of foaming at the mouth, mixing with blood from a
mauled tongue, a sublime seizure, a demonstration of mystic conduits
- even a cosmogonic traffic crossing of the most mundane sort seems
sublime, it's the kind of thing we came up with that word for, to
express, us descendants of englishmen and women. Sometimes, with
enough weakness, the whole works implodes and so the light can shine
through, but it doesn't do much for me, as a being, trying to
function in a human world, that deadlight. It was a garden variety
mystic seed, that may lie fallow or sprout and flower, no one much
cares. And the one who might ought to care, can't even conceive of
what's happening. He just figures something ought to be said, about a
homeworld for bright eyes. Like eyes that used to see things that
made me feel things.
Cause
he wasted so much time trying to please these foreign gods, and be a
humanist, and play human games. And maybe it wouldn't have been a
waste, if those gods had been pleased. But he was still bleeding into
that other dimension he saw, when deep in the basements of
dissociation. And it was always dragging him back to the beautiful
void from whence he came, via strangles of entrails, winding him up,
jokes of genetic code, you know, and leni reifenstahl propaganda. You
can hear the rats in the walls. Now there's nothing in a void. That's
why it's a void, it's like, a word, like sublime, it means something.
But the void carves pretty pictures in this, and that. Nothing is
sometimes something, by extension. X-philic iTard. Maybe that's part
of the reason I wrote that story, about the wood sprites. Maybe that
reason I wrote is part of the story.
Is
this frustration, or meditation? Or biding time until the iron lung
clamps down on my respiratory system? I'm sure that she who remembers
will tell the negro god to let me know, when the time is right.
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