blues dues

no reason to STAY AWAKE
stay awake

so, i stole one from the devil, did i?
no, i don't think so
i didn't steel anything
and the toque don't mean a thing - i don't have what you need
and you got nothing for me

vacuum, vacuum kiss, vacuum kiss
i flunked out of grade school
never went to trade school

desperate, cause i have no inner strength
deprivation... in a hibernation
bedbugs help me to hallucinate
same old nothin'
dead weight

affectation... affectation
i could sound more street if i cut the suffix
with baby laxative
the toque don't mean shit

are you still awake, girl?
you still look a girlish thirty
your face is so pretty
our eyes are open... our eyes are open...

oh friends, not these sad sounds
i'm just doing depression right, paying my dues to the blues
that's all, okay? i'll let, i'll let, it'll scab over

i want to go to the meeting tonight, but i'm not ready
but there's worse things than that, i remember there's a banquet for my soul
there's a free lunch there, and fellowship, i remember
i'll stay awake for that, cause i feel like just lately
things would follow me into sleep
but i have a place on blatch street that i've made my own
there's a kind of comfort there
and there's a place on bavidge for me too
with less toxicity, and family

and so, there's four hours left here
hard at work, or hardly working
and there's even fellowship in the toxic
i can plant a house, build a tree
it's not as much fun to be me
and it's not all that fun to watch me
dignity in letting go, letting
good orderly direction follow
no need to qualify, just
mellow spirituality
pre-mature gentleman, byee

affection - love is a power beyond me
even if it sounds like a trope
even if i can't say much about it
especially cause of that

i've let you go, yeah, i've let you go
what else can i do?
there's other people in the world
i might cross paths with one, one day
until then, i've got a room, in which i can
keep myself company, i've got my music
tailored playlists, soothing sounds
i make a science of comfort, to fill the void
i learn things about myself, even if it's a drop
in the chasm of ignorance and delusion