"Non negotiable," it says, in large type at the bottom of the paycheque. Strange they felt it necessary to add that. I wouldn't have assumed there was a haggling process that followed, but why do they gotta rub it in? Why don't they just put "wage slave pittance", and get to the point? And oh, whoops, clumsy, they dropped it. Go on, pick it up! Atta boy.

Ghandiose death, with god on your lips. God, I am proud to be your humble servant. I'm spinning off the wheel of life, whee! Where it doesn't matter what happens to whitey, the color wheel is done. Off the wheel is God, that's my definition.

Or, God! Make this pain stop! I thought it wasn't supposed to hurt! I thought there was a special grace in case of assassination. The only reason I look so stoic and heroic is cause I can't get enough air to scream! And thank God my awareness is fading before I've had the chance to beg for life. Maybe it's just awareness that goes, not feeling. Maybe things will exist, I just won't be aware of it.

Wait a minute, that's what I thought all along! So why's it such a revelation? Special dispensation? Revelation in the veil and devaluation of awareness. Maybe I don't need to be Aware of every damned thing to enjoy it! What's revealed as I pass the threshold, from life-by-proxy to unlife-by-proxy is that what I'm not aware of is still part of me, something I'm able to feel. Sounds kinda flat though, doesn't it?

Thank God that's over. Baby shoes, never worn.