3/10/15

rentals

Looking for contrary-minded, health-oblivious, passive, pessimistic roommate to share dim, decrepit 2 bathroom, 3 bedroom, 4 basement gray market pharmaceutical salon with negative cash flow.

Downstairs room with dying area, no natural light but a lot of 30 watts / 60 hertz. No windows, but features cracks, chasms, portholes, peepholes. Excellent wifi.

$750+ utilities/month. Laundry, shared kitchen and entrance. No parking. 57 min walk from bus route. Unfurnished. Available April 2.

Call 250-505-4311 or email for more information.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

can i have the basement and two of the bathrooms?

Tasha Klein said...

so, what happened? did u get a room mate? post some pics! it sounds like that house in THE FIGHT CLUB, lol!

Hector the Crow said...

I got a basement apt, shitty little place with lame-ass landlords - i was just parodying the dumb housing rental ads that always say the same shit, asking for an active, positive, healthy roommate, etc. - was cathartic to make up an ad that was the exact opposite - the place isn't pic worthy at all

Hector the Crow said...

I'm finally out of there, horray!

not paranoid when you should be just one of my normal keyboard improvisations, nothing special, except that it's recorded on a real grand.