21 Nov 2019

robot black out

mr robot and long blocked childhood trauma

he's not supposed to know - good for getting the mind out - learning to love - trying not to be mediocre

quick PSA text on the black credits - trauma voyeur like the king of the D R, the republic gleaming for a bigger island to own, it looks good as a backdrop to torching that round gleaming gleaming gleaming glass bowl with the meth vapor on the other end, feeling like a shaman, gleaning sacred knowledge by the atomized constituents one by one, gathering, beeping, like a gleaming fucking photon collater sucking bits out of the void, one by one, listening, feeling on a subatomic scale, points of light, substance, gleaming, hit the pipe again

feeling lucky - then feeling like i gotta control everything, CTRL-ALT freak flag, feel the power like some 90s dance thing, pre-cult days, when cults weren't so mainstream, and fascism wasn't the default - it's always the default now, like that joke in the rick and morty season 4 premiere, there's this weird freaky default fascism down the multiverse, proud shrimp fascists with their stiff upper lip shrimp faces, dominican psychos, etc. And then there's the whole last season of the man in the high castle, wow, and getting a haircut, and not asking for the "richard spencer", but squirming a little as the haircut and nazi associations keep looking good in gleaming leather - hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the albert hall - now we know how many holes it takes

this would be better musically, i haven't made the set up for full on keyboard and voice improv with the hours i keep here unfortunately

ah, google, i dissociate from the brand, i'm a blind user, using - but it sometimes feels like my happy clippy partner, auto correcting and knowing what it looks like i'm trying to do

how far down the rabbit hole do you have to go, when do you radicalize, get back to the root? crazy shit's probably gotta precipitate - too bad i already opted in to so many systems, even the new social media meta-systems, rooted myself, haha, allowed access, i've been thoroughly data mined, cause i never protected it feircly, but now i got some info-shields, a tinfoil hat but it feels good to wear it, don't wanna join any info wars, just shielding myself from the deluge of mind control, even as i'm getting into youtube channel demagoging cult trips and thinking that should be satirized in black mirror, maybe i should write that episode

i see them, they're pretending like they're winning, maybe that's the way to go, the pro-bono pronoia, the conspiracy is us, we're on the march, we're winning, feel the burn of victory!

i don't want the crazy shit most of the time, i'm not angry enough, don't have enough of a personal stake in the revolution - theoretical solidarity is maintained when detaching from the idea of myself being morally involved with any complicity in systems, which brings me back to feeling like i'm winning, don't have to do anything, can just watch it unfold, in theoretical solidarity with a side i cheer on - thinking it's cool to be cynical and clever, and wait behind the brave, the clever wait behind the brave, the cleverer wait behind the clever, DO NOTHING... OBEY THE NINE...

that was an awesome reference that one in nine million might enjoy - where can i find those eight hundred thirty three and a third people to form a pipeline to my niche niche niche podcast? it ain't about personally knowing anybody, it's a vibe the great galactic information stream gotta appreciate baby, percolate

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