2/04/20
Maybe I do wanna be a sucker. Maybe it's better than a pointless sense of superiority. Miserable sense. Maybe better to get suckered in by folksy corny crap. Appreciate it, see the good in it. Don't get suckered in by my own delusion of sophistication. But could you stop fucking talking? Why do I hate your voice so much? Even now, when I need to be teachable, when my own resources are utterly failing me? Can't isolate the variable. So, just change everything. Change as much as possible.... Hope you'll get the culprit.
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Got no one to talk to, so I’m venting online. So, I really tried to hustle this week. Applied to five places. Even with the xanax it was har...
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Actual composition instead of an hour-long improv indulgence, 'sbeen a while. I wanted to call it The Dandy Whoremonger, but settled on ...
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Doing a writing exercise, I guess, is what I'm doing. Because I've hardly written anything for months. Since I got sober, yet again....
not paranoid when you should be just one of my normal keyboard improvisations, nothing special, except that it's recorded on a real grand.
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