cutoff - Cutoff from nothing, it's okay, there was nothing there anyway - wallfacer, door closing
let's cut to the chase - i feel more and more just my dumb job - oh yeah, i'm other people too, i'm in couple - family, friends, all that shit - totally useless otherwise - making everything for no one - nobody likes my style - how pathetic - what's the point of this? hostage letter? fucking christ
motivation to mean things? pick the notes? pick the words? after the splurge, eating the void - why not swoon along to a belly full of depression - indulge in it - maybe it's just a moment - feels full of me being a fuckface, wallfacing little fuck.
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Got no one to talk to, so I’m venting online. So, I really tried to hustle this week. Applied to five places. Even with the xanax it was har...
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Actual composition instead of an hour-long improv indulgence, 'sbeen a while. I wanted to call it The Dandy Whoremonger, but settled on ...
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Doing a writing exercise, I guess, is what I'm doing. Because I've hardly written anything for months. Since I got sober, yet again....
not paranoid when you should be just one of my normal keyboard improvisations, nothing special, except that it's recorded on a real grand.
2 comments:
it seems useless without a community to share it. i just think of future me, unknowingly finding past me. it's a quaint fairy tale, like anyone's gonna go searching blogs for anything at all in the incomprehensible future.but uselessness is a kind of immortality, isn't it? if it's not used, it doesn't degrade. true uselessness could not even provide a quantum of energy, true uselessness would be immortal. and what's the point of that? so, this thing we do? it has a use. energy, comic release, the exuberant sacrifice. maybe yours is for something different but please don't try to salvage it with some kind of random redemption. miss you.
thanks for the comment - i have thoughts like that - my idea of the information age has evolved, information no longer has value, only filters - sounds like a taoist view of useful/less ness - i miss you too
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