Home to Nothing

I'll tell you what I fucking hate

coming home from a long, hard day at work
to nothing
absolutely
nothing.

No food
no email
no conversation
piano still in limbo

not a goddamn thing.

You'd think something nice would have accumulated by now, but no.

Sometimes I console myself by telling myself
she'll be sorry, when she wants to come back to me
but then it hits me
she's not going to want to.
It's not going to happen.
From here on out
it's nothing
because
she doesn't need me anymore.
After five years of service
and I do mean service, in every sick sense of the word
I've been retired
one of those shifts
I can't perceive until far in the rearview mirror
with the damage done.

I have to devalue in turn
and writing this shit is not a good start on that
but whatever. Nothing
makes me bitter like nothing.