blaine, missouri

i accept the rejected

that's just
the kind
of guy i am

i accept the rejected

and nothing less
if you're well-adjusted
you're not in my club

i accept the rejected

but i'd leave you for aki
immediately

i accept the rejected

but i'm sorry
didn't mean to call you rejected
accidental honesty

i don't need or want more friends
friends don't fill the void in me
friends don't replace what i lost
but i can tell a friend why i've finally found a use for the word "cunt"
why it turns sadness to anger, to use the word “cunt”
and i guess i could find camaraderie in rejection

a drinking partner
and co-drawer for the bankrupt account
and guinea pig for the experiment

in homeopathic overdose, what we do is

we take all the toxins, pour them into a cauldron
and see what happens, write on these quasi mornings
between timezones and abandoned homes, guilt-stained purpose
in going with the grain of rotten wood

and drinking the blood emetic, life’s poison
and accepting
vitamins he said he could get for me

there is a poster on the fridge
a mixing board
dissolving into a temple
dissolving into psychedelic swirls
advertising a studio, a vision, a philosophy
the vault of convoluted stories
where a fuckup might have been a professional
maybe will be again, he seemed so confident in being lost
being lost for years, that loser way of life
that i'm seeing laid out for myself
cause if he can't make it
how could i
and a studio on a shore somewhere out
in the valley, advertised with good production values
if you like that sort of thing, the tacky kootenay hippie package
vibey vibey vibey, but a known quantity
i guess, maybe that's where they have yage ceremonies
those cleansing of the spirit things, those puke the
demons out of you journeys for urban shaman wannabes
i'm thinking clean as i wallow in filth and lament
the illness, i guess i'll come to accept this novelty
this flavour of noodles, drink more coffee and eat more
msg, this routine of nothing much
of staggering, silly talk and getting by
in this high traffic area

lower than a snake's belly in a wagon-rut
and just when you thought i couldn't get any lower
i turn back to spirituality

cosmic megacontext to come
psychic weather forecast at 6
film at 11, hexagram archetype at dusk.