feeling off

feeling off in her company is better than on with me
it's plenty to work with

all i really have to worry about for tomorrow is bus fare
that's all i told myself i have to worry about, when considering the list of things to do that rarely get done

something's off with me, chemical, emotional, spiritual, all that, y'all
i can't even be pithy or poetic, can't externalize soul, can't feel it inside
i can sort of draw hydro-electric whale-bone channels that may be good for something
on everybody-gets-a-trophy day

that's a symptom of what's off, that i can't express
it's a blockage, i feel like i need to snap, maybe that could be done
with feng-shui and synergy

nothing is working quite right, even if i got the right idea
do the next right thing, right? even if the feeling don't come with it
this is how the writing is coming out, even though this pseudo-poetic style is pointless, but it's where my patterns have landed, in this culvert, let's call it, sure, why not, question mark - superfluous park bench squatter's right - actually
nothing as simple or sophisticated as that - you can tell, it's fallen to tired eyes
i need a kneaded gum eraser - to turn the background into a figurine, to make the figurine a fissure in the graphite glare and park myself there and justify
tired eyes self-justify, nothing works, but i'll work tomorrow
my feelings feel well enough to take the night off
off in her company is better than on with me

it's gone beyond conventional scale
graduated from gratitude