18 Jan 2013

I never wrote songs for you in the first place

Not about to start now.
At least I saved some time
and more importantly soul
didn't waste any soul that way.

But I did waste a lot of time and soul
in other ways, on you, in the
"being with you" ways

but no, it wasn't "wasted"
and I never wrote any songs
that's a youthful thing to do
so youthful it's more perverted than true

Can't remember what I was gonna say... Just taking note of another banal fade out of a love. It fits the pattern, it's just a bit expedited this time. But still painful. Not being able to be friends. Why must it always be that way? Especially when my friends are spread to the four corners of the continent. And fuck your friends that were never mine by extension - mine were never yours either, you didn't want them.

Gonna write a lot of songs this winter though. Lots of things to sing about, lots of things lost, but it's perverse to sing of people. I'll write of selfishness and the ugly truth of how I don't care what anyone else is singing about, it's all looping serial tone rows, predictable variations of indie-rock-pop that is such sadly inflated currency of calculated quirks and contrived cuteness. I now know it when I hear it instantly, everywhere, music, even the good music, is worthless to me. Still, I want to make it, for myself.

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